by Terri Pous So, you just got engaged. Congratulations! Now, prepare for the onslaught of questions. Engagement often brings a flood of unexpected inquiries, some of which you may... Read More
by Terri Pous
So, you just got engaged. Congratulations! Now, prepare for the onslaught of questions. Engagement often brings a flood of unexpected inquiries, some of which you may find intrusive. Knowing why a friend or family member is asking these questions will help you come up with tactful replies. We compiled some common queries and etiquette expert-approved answers for your convenience.
“When are you going to have a baby?”
This is most likely to come from hopeful future grandparents. If so, you may wish to acknowledge their longing. Then politely — but firmly — tell them that when the time is right for you two to start a family, they’ll be the first to know. Coming from people who aren’t so close to you, this question may seem like an invasion of privacy. Humor can often defuse tense moments; you might simply laugh and say, “I think we need to have the wedding first.”
“Who’s paying for the wedding?”
Although this may seem like a rude question, wedding expenses today are shared in many ways. People may be exploring options for future reference. Remember, of course, you don’t have to answer. Whenever a question seems impertinent, it’s fine to respond, “Why do you ask?” or laugh it off by saying, “We’re accepting donations.”
“Am I invited to the wedding?”
Who gets invited depends on the type of celebration you want and what you can afford. If the person asking is someone who probably won’t be invited, you can respond, “I’m so flattered that you want to attend.” Then, fill in an appropriate excuse (“Unfortunately, we’re having a small reception”; “I have a huge family,” etc.).