How To Choose Your Bridesmaids: 5 Ways to Choose Without Hurting Feelings

As you plan your wedding, one of the first decisions you’ll need to make is who will be in your bridal party.  It can be... Read More

As you plan your wedding, one of the first decisions you’ll need to make is who will be in your bridal party. 

It can be a tough decision, especially since you want to make sure everyone who is important to you gets represented. So how do you choose? 

HOW TO PICK YOUR BRIDAL PARTY

For wedding planning, one of the most important decisions you will make is who will stand by your side on your big day. These women (or men!) will be with you through thick and thin and help you navigate the planning process.

Before choosing who will be in your bridal party, decide how many bridesmaids you want by your side on your wedding day. On one hand, you want to have enough people to impact your big day significantly. You don’t want so many people that your wedding feels more like a circus than a classy affair. 

So, how do you decide? Ask yourself these three questions when making your decision.

1. How Large Is Your Guest List? 

Are you planning a small, intimate wedding with only close family and friends in attendance? If so, you may not need (or want) a large wedding party. Having too many people on your big day can make things feel chaotic and overwhelming. 

Conversely, if you’re planning a bigger bash with hundreds of guests, you may want a larger wedding party to help fill up the space and create a more impactful visual. 

2. What’s Your Budget? 

As with everything else related to weddings, the size of your wedding party will also affect your budget. When you’re thinking about how to pick your bridesmaid, remember more bridesmaids mean more money spent on dresses, shoes, hair, makeup, etc. 

If money is tight, keep your bridal party smaller, so you don’t blow your entire budget on attendants. 

3. Do You Have Specific People In Mind? 

Sometimes couples have specific people in mind for their wedding party before they’ve even set a date. If there’s someone you absolutely must have by your side on your big day, by all means, include them — regardless of how many attendants this puts you at. 

The same goes for people you do not want at your wedding party; if having them standing next to you on one of the most important days of your life would ruin the mood, it’s probably best to leave them off the guest list altogether. 

There’s no right or wrong answer when choosing how many bridesmaids to have in your wedding party — it all depends on what’s important to you as a couple. Consider your guest list size, budget, and who you want by your side on your big day to help narrow down the field and choose the perfect number for YOU!

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR BRIDESMAID WITHOUT HURTING FEELINGS

Now that we know how many bridesmaids you want at your wedding, let’s talk about how to choose your bridesmaids without hurting feelings. 

  1. When choosing bridesmaids, consider your relationship with them. Are these women (or men) people who you are close to? Do you have a long history together? If not, they might not be the best candidates for such an important role. 
  2. Consider their relationship with each other. Do they all get along? If not, there could be some drama on your wedding day that you simply don’t need. 
  3. Consider their availability. Do they all live near each other? Will they be available for fittings, showers, and other events leading up to the big day? If not, it might be difficult for them to fulfill their duties. 
  4. Consider their willingness to help. Are they excited about being a part of your special day? Do they seem like they will be helpful, or are they already overwhelmed by the thought of it all? If it’s the latter, they might not be the best choice. 
  5. Lastly, consider their style. Do their styles mesh well together? You want your bridesmaids to look like a cohesive group, so if their styles are all over the place, they might not give off the look you’re going for. 

These are just a few things to remember when choosing who will stand by your side on your big day. Select the people who you know will be there for you no matter what and who will make the planning process as stress-free as possible!

SHOULD YOU ASK SOMEONE TO BE YOUR BRIDESMAID IF YOU WERE IN THEIR WEDDING?

There’s no straightforward answer to this question, as it can depend on several factors. Some people may feel that they should repay a favor by reciprocating the offer and agreeing to be in the other person’s wedding party. However, others may feel it’s inappropriate to ask someone to do you a favor when they’ve already done one for you. 

Ultimately, whether you should ask someone else depends mainly on your relationship with that person and their willingness to take part in the wedding. If you’re close with the person and they have already expressed excitement about the idea of being at your wedding party, then it may be appropriate to extend an invitation of your own. 

But if there are doubts, it’s better not to ask them. After all, marriage is one of life’s most important milestones, and you want your bridal party to be supportive and dedicated. So choose wisely when deciding how and whom you ask for this vital role!

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR MAID OR MATRON OF HONOR

There can be a lot of pressure and stress in choosing your maid or matron of honor, especially if you have more than one close friend or family member who fits the role. And when so much is at stake, it can be tempting to name no one as your maid of honor. 

But there’s a better way to do things: by selecting two different maids of honor instead. This approach has several benefits, including the fact that you can spread the responsibility for planning your wedding between two people. It also helps to prevent hurt feelings or divided loyalties among your friends and family members, since no one feels slighted or excluded. 

In the end, picking two maids of honor can be a great way to keep everyone happy and ensure your wedding is unique and memorable.


So, how do you choose your bridesmaids without hurting feelings? You don’t. At least, not intentionally. It may seem like a daunting task, but if you take the time to consider everyone’s individual circumstances and preferences, it can be done with flying colors – or at least no one will end up in tears. (Well, hopefully.) 

As for the all-important question of how many bridesmaids to have? There’s no definitive answer, but we recommend somewhere between four and eight. Any more than that and things might get a little crazy – any less and your girls may feel left out. 

And for help with New England event rentals, give us a call at Sperry Tents Seacoast!