When Lisa’s mum showed her the dress she’d chosen for Lisa’s upcoming nuptials, it was a far cry from the tent/muumuu disaster in champagne color that many moms of the bride opt for. In fact, it was the total opposite—briiiight red, cut down to there (um, mom’s cleavage making a candid in your wedding photos is not cool) and more fitting of a starlet than a dignified guest of honor.

While I’m not usually a proponent of brides dictating to their mothers what to wear (bridezilla alert), this is one time when it could befit you to speak up. There’s a tactful way of expressing that your mother’s desired outfit might not fit the setting, mood or decor you already have going on. Try and make her feel more included by suggesting she don something similar to the bridesmaids, or make a bonding experience out of shopping together. If she’s really adamant about wearing what she wants, however, you might have to drop it. It’s not worth being in a permanent fight with one of the most important people of your life during an already stressful time. And ultimately, though her wardrobe choices might make you feel ashamed, no one will seriously judge you for your mom’s lack of tact.

Here’s what I think would be appropriate on mom:

• A simple sheath dress in a bold but not too-bold color, i.e. if she really likes red, perhaps you can suggest a deeper pomegranate or berry hue.
• A floor length or to-the-knee black dress
• A long-sleeved dress with subtle sheen or pattern (the key word is subtle)
• A very dressy, tailored skirt suit, like a Chanel tweed, that would be tasteful for a church wedding and at the reception
• If the venue’s very casual, a pair of drapey silk pants and an elegant blouse

Does anyone else have ideas I’ve missed here? Has anyone dealt with a similar situation and what did you do? What is your best advice for Lisa?

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